Swamped in my Earthiness

Unlimited and unencumbered space is a rare treat in my world (or anyones for that matter). A good portion of our existence is spent in a 34 foot trailer, which provides many joys to our existence, but at the same time it also provides many challenges for a packrat such as myself. I’ve lived with the excuses of my nomadic life resulting in the accumulation of much girth and property over the past 20+ some years of my life. But today, here I stand amidst all of those possessions, and I’m feeling swamped and buried by the unending unearthing of hidden treasures accumulated throughout my lifetime. Almost like a history reservoir has broken and suddenly flooded my very existence with the complete past, all at once. And to think, this doesn’t include all that I need and own within the confines of our trailer and home.

The question now is, am I open to the possibility of releasing, letting go of the past, or a good portion of it? The emotional baggage that was once hidden within the unknown crevices of the cubby now stands before me as I unpack, tabulate and catalog item upon item, folded and placed on the tables reminiscent of a community garage sale. Do I love it? Do I use it? Does my home need it?

Can you say overwhelmed? It doesn’t help when I have visitors who comment on the vastness of my possessions, saying: “You sure have a lot of stuff here. What are you going to do with it all? You surely don’t need all this!”. In fact, it stresses me beyond understanding, gnawing at me like a persistent woodpecker pecking for its prey. Thankfully, slaDE and my Father hold back their opinions and quietly watch me as I systematically begin the process of unearthing and revelation, purging and letting my spirit shine, opening like a sunflower in bloom.

As I go through this process, I sort of equate it to the planting of new seeds and the dawning of a new season. A clearing out of the old stock, re-evaluating the present moment with the past, replenishing with neat tidy seedlings of potential growth. Seasons of change.

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