Well, the big day is tomorrow and my step dad is having surgery to remove his prostate cancer. Please keep him in your prayers and meditations if you can. That would mean the world to me and my family.
It was so good to get away, to leave a dank dim home so musty and clogged with summer’s humidity, the sort that hangs heavily, thick as cottage cheese. Yuck …
My partner and I wanted to go hang out with Kali, Ed and his two friends from Mexico, Ricardo and Marcel. We joined them for dinner at a funky vegetarian restaurant serving spectacular pizzas, in Guelph. Ahhhh … it proved to be an evening with fragments reminiscent to journeys in Guatemala: a sweet return to my vain attempts at speaking Spanish. What an eye opener, to see how difficult at first it is to sink back into a mode of challenging inner translations, and then to slowly transform back into the groove of my gringa stagnant sentences and flustered meanderings. Quite fun actually to tickle the brain and understand inklings of a conversation, here and there. Evolving, growing, struggling, flustered shortcomings …. this is an inner adventure I yearn to explore and fear to recre8te, through the development of my Spanish skills and my return to Latin America, serving the needs of the destitute and underprivileged, in a mysterious country filled with rich culture and deep turmoil.
“Life consists of contradictions. You should know the day, its beauty; you should know the night and its beauty. And remember, they are not separate. Every day brings you to the night, and every night brings you to the day. It is one wheel, one circle, one organic whole. Once you understand that, then in your life there will be a wholeness; nothing is rejected, everything is absorbed. And to me, to experience life in its wholeness is the only holy thing.”
Living life fully, with splendour, basking in the sunlight even when it pours misery is such a difficult task at times, but one I endeavour to encompass fully in my life … I witness this misery surrounding me at times and am truly grateful for the peace and happiness which makes up my current existence. At the moment, 3 weeks after the fact, of leaving my glorious Guatemala behind, I am still stunned at how distant my life and experience is from my departure at that time. How can our realities be so separate with the passing of time and distance? Cultural boundaries predicate for some of the disparity but I guess the rest is all mental …. And I realize how much I miss the steep learning path of discovery I grew to savour in a 3rd world country where English was as foreign as the white skin which envelops me. And I miss the close friendships I developed in the short span of a few weeks and days in some instances. Don’t get me wrong … I am loving life back here in my homeland. Enjoying the new environment which I call home. Safely swathed by the love of family and friends. Surrounded by excellent communication and open minds giving me their unabashed attention. What more could I hope or dream for? I do know that I miss the freedom of the burgeoning skies, flying amidst the puffy clouds of summer. Skydiving seems so distant … My wing is not quite fully up to strength … And I long to conquer the skies before returning this, my other domain. Patience and strength of conviction keep me grounded as I gaze longingly up to the heavens above, reined by the sense of the pain I experienced last summer when I dislocated my wing. I don’t want to ever have to go through that excruciating pain again, and the healing process which ensued. Time will heal and soon enough, I’ll be back to where I belong … they don’t call me sKY:: for nothing you know 😉